Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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