Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
