I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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