You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
