Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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