Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
