Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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