Barsexuality is the new black.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
