There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
