she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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