new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
