It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
