five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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