I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
