shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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