I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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