He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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