Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
