New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
