Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
