The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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