i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
