put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
