I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
