What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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