All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
