Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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