Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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