PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
