Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
