So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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