angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
