I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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