I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
