No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't notice because vodka
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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