Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
