jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
