Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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