we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
