She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
