totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
