The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
