She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
