The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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