it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
