I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
