you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
