Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
