why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
