Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
