I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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