he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
