ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want her autograph on my taint
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
